Training Evolution Blog

Transitions, oh Transitions, by Jillian McLaughlin


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Using the Skills of Emotional Intelligence: Bringing Your Best Self to All You Do

This summer after living and working in Kansas City (the city of BBQ, beer and Baseball as my husband likes to say), my family returned to our original home in Toronto. We left the States all the wiser and with many great friendships to cherish. I am an Emotional Intelligence coach and trainer and love coaching others but with this trek, I had to put all of my coaching efforts towards my immediate family!

As excited as my family was to come ‘home’ it was still a transition. New neighborhood, schools, work environments and friendships to build, re-build and maintain. What we quickly learned is that we hated being the new person and we missed the many friendships we had built in KC. I did my best to steer my individual family members and assist at they made their reentry. What I found out is that my youngest daughter is exactly like me. We need people! We have spent the last five months focusing on the EQ skill of Interpersonal Relationships – developing new friendships here in Toronto and nurturing old ones near and afar. I helped my daughter and made sure that we were engaging the critical EQ skills of Emotional Self Awareness and Empathy. We held parties and playdates so Summer could get to know her classmates on a more intimate level. This has payed off as Summer has made many great friendships (and so have I with their parents) and said that she loves her new school!

My oldest daughter, in middle school, is more like my husband. They need a few good friends to keep their bucket filled. They focused on their EQ skills of Self Regard and Independence and didn’t let emotions take over. Upon reflection, I think their KC friends wished they were more expressive and we’ve been working on the EQ skill of Emotional Expression during this time of transition.

Empathetic leadership involves recognizing, understanding and appreciating how others are feeling. When leading with Empathy it is about understanding how others are feeling / thinking and showing that you appreciate their point of views. It is not about agreeing but about recognizing their points of view and inquiring on their ‘whys’.

During periods of change ramp up your Emotional Intelligence. Start by checking in with yourself, understanding and identifying the emotions you are feeling. This will let you move through the negative emotions faster and get on with moving into a positive space. Don’t forget to use your skills of Empathy to recognize, understand and appreciate how those around you are feeling.     Happy Holiday and a Wonderful New Year! Jillian

If you are thinking that Jillian's story makes sense, and you may wish to offer your team the gift enhanced communication in 2020...let us know. Liz